Ruckus

Hello Readers

How are you today?

I want to share a short story today, this one is not too ancient or too modern it is just what happens in present day, even though I have seen people go through this I would like to trace it out as a story.I Feel it is very important for this message to go out to as many people as possible.

The region of Madikeri also famously is a very famous and beautiful place in Karnataka, there lived a family in the midst of a coffee estate.

It is the family of Mr. Varma who is a successful businessman in the food processing industry.

Maya is  22 years old,  who is Mr. Varma’s daughter who wishes to crack the UPSC exam and wants to serve the Indian administration services.MR Varma’s wife is a homemaker trying to support the family in the best way possible.

So things are working out for this family with new hopes of Mr. Varma to make more profits, his daughter who hopes to clear her exam and so on. But as you know life is like cycle definitely there would be ups and downs!

Similarly, this family started facing issues which started off Mr. Varma’s business taking a U-turn due to certain corrections in the market of this product and some of his key employees quitting his business.

As some of us would be aware there is lot competition in the food processing industry and these were testing times for Mr. Varma.

The repel effect is always not good, in this family it played a key role in setting or rather changing the environment of the house, the house usually gaily and cheerful but now it turned out rather a mellow and dull place due to the pressures of Mr. Varma's  business.

Things became worse when Mr.Varma developed a bad taste for alcohol and started coming home drunk and started behaving in an inappropriate manner destroying the inner peace of Maya and her mother, who were very concerned about him.

Maya whose preparation for the exam was going well could not concentrate now and felt depressed and weak, even though her mother kept her motivated, she failed that exam.

There ends the story! Sorry if you think if it was abrupt, but the message I wanted to convey was told so I just wanted to end it there, so what is the message? Here goes.

A family is like an institution where there is something which goes on a daily basis and in the present scenario a joint family is not to be found very easily and even the nuclear families are like with maximum of four people in a typical case, if there a distortions in the normal flow of thoughts and understanding patterns in a house it will become a huge mental setback for people of the family who more simple or kind  at mind.

The Department of Domestic Violence and family disputes Prevention, USA says half of the families face problems due to parents! Please don’t take me wrong that I am trying to corner parents here, the kids are equally responsible so that other half of the graph is shared by them.

But in the above story which I shared, it is the case where an ambitious aspirant for one of the most difficult exams in the world was doing good and focused, unfortunately, she could succeed due to the lack of mental support at home.

So I would like to push this message to all those parents out there who love their kids, maintain decorum in the front of your kids, please don’t lose your temper in front of them make them feel uncomfortable instead build confidence in their minds, if you have your personal issues or with your wife or husband try to solve it by yourself, until your children are ready to take the heat and help you swim out of it. Stop setting wrong examples in your kid's mind.

In India, family counseling is still considered as the last step as we hesitate to share our personal pains to a stranger, but I tell you it is most required and helps keep a health check of your family bonding.

Let me know your opinion on this blog.

The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life.

Thanks a lot for your time, have a great week ahead.

Regards

Helios.

The counsellor

Hello readers 

We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us.

-H. Jackson Brown, Jr. 

Hope you all are doing well. We all live effectively for 40 odd years, surprised? see what Muhammad Ali had to say on life!

 "You live first 10 years of life just to make sense of it, next 15 in your own hitch ups and then move to marital life or any other life so these 40 years are the one which actually count".

He continues to say what you give back to this society in these 40 years is what matters.

Have you visited a counsellor  anytime?  not only for depression or issues relating to your mind, even for educational purposes we visit them, to estimate in which aspect we have the aptitude.

Well that is one way of looking at that profession there is another way this profession is taken into, that is ethical or social counseling.

What is ethical counselling? It  mainly deals with the fine tuning of some moral principles and values which the person is not aware of or has failed to follow due to various factors like personal issues or societal issues.

Social counselling specifically looks at more personal problems of individual, like issues in his family or whatever difficulties he faces on a daily basis when he wants to communicate with people.

Those are the basic definitions of ethical and social counselling.

But there is actually a counsellor within you,  have ever observed for yourself?

It is the same voice which speaks to you when you are angry and tries to calm you down, when you are happy makes you laugh and also try to share it with friends and benefactors.

So who is this sitting inside you and trying to always keep you stable, it is your own intellect, your mind or soul whatever you want to call it.

Among the families across the world, Indian families are considered one of the most successful families no doubt it is true our marraige is a very well planned instituation, but at the same time it has its own problems.

Indians suffer from the problem of ego, and that is almost one of the most damaging factors in a family.

A scientist in Russia once said, family is just like community living where everyone will be provided with similar luxuries and eat at a  common place and mostly the family is best when it is a joint family because it would have various senior people to advise the inexperienced emerging fathers, is how he puts it in his book family: An industry.

But as time has passed the joint family concept in India stands at all time low, so the nuclear families have taken over, but due to egoistic elements in these families we see many traumatic incidents within the family which any member has to bare the brunt. The reason it happens is may be due to the person  is not  considerate to others in the family may have had a rough childhood or he is totally ignorant and arrogant.

Is there a solution of this growing problem which seriously mentally drains other people in the family? and having a direct impact on the future generations.

Of course yes, first the person should think for a while is it correct to do  what he is doing? To him and others this is the self-counselling he should do or others would motivate him to do.

The most important role would be of that particular person in  that family, who has the zeal and the charisma to impress the person in question and help him understand his problems.

This internal Counsellor is present in almost all families and I am telling they are the people who can take the maximum stress and push the family towards heights of success.

I salute to all these special people for being matured at the right moment and help the people around them to ease them in a grim situation caused by someone's silly and stupid behavior for silly things.

So as Mohammad Ali the great boxer said concentrate on those 40 years, what will you do in life other than frowning, grumbling, blaming and making people around you feel sad for your behavior.

Thanks for your valuable time. Adios!

Live happy  always.